Time is a funny thing. Again, I have so much I want to share with you but alas my bedtime has crept up on me. But after stumbling upon this today I had to reflect on it...
I accidentally hit the shortcut to my South Africa blog this afternoon and it turns out my last entry was exactly one year ago today (check it out: http://janellesafricanadventures.blogspot.com/). A wave of emotions surged through me in the thirty seconds it took me to re-read my own words. Forgive me for the redundancy from my last entry but the fact that I was overseas over a year ago now is still surreal to me. But that's not the point. The point is in spite of all the hardships of this past year, I knew on June 26, 2011 that whatever I was going through and whatever laid before me, God was going to provide and pull me through it. Sometimes He had to drag me kicking and screaming because I hated the idea of change but as I sit here with all the wonderful opportunities before me, I'm glad He did.
Although I still long for the experiences and people I left in South Africa, they have been stored in a special place of my heart. For if there is one lesson I have learned this past week it's the fact that clinging to the past and hopes of what "might be" obscure your vision from the present and what "is" right before you. Don't get me wrong, I still plan on returning there once I'm done with PA school, but I don't know if my life is meant to stay there. The funny thing is if you repeated what I just said to you to the last-week-Janelle she would've been like "What are you nuts?! I'm living there the rest of my life!" And who knows? That may happen but I don't want to limit my options by focusing on solely one thing. Funny how making peace with your past allows you to open your eyes. Much has happened in this past week and I'm glad I opened my eyes when I did because I may have missed an incredible opportunity otherwise.
What have you been holding onto lately? A grudge? An unrealistic desire? Or perhaps you've been holding onto the idea of someone - a broken love, a long-distance fantasy. We've all been there and it's healthy to have dreams and ambitions. But when our heart clings to things/people that our brain knows is unrealistic, we fall into a rut, unable to truly move forward without first making peace with ourselves. Whatever or whoever it may be, I challenge you to reflect on why you've been holding on for so long. What is preventing you from letting go? Anger? Lust? Pain? All of the above? The list goes on but I pray that you find the courage and the strength to allow yourself to "move on." I know that's asking a lot and I'm well aware it won't happen overnight. But bit by bit, day by day you'll be amazed how much you'll discover when you have that long overdue conversation with yourself and make peace with your past. Understand that I'm not asking you to simply forget those struggles. That's near impossible. I am simply encouraging you to store them away into a special place of your heart.
There's only one question left: you hold the key - will you lock it?
Blessings,
Janelle
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