Time is a funny thing. Again, I have so much I want to share with you but alas my bedtime has crept up on me. But after stumbling upon this today I had to reflect on it...
I accidentally hit the shortcut to my South Africa blog this afternoon and it turns out my last entry was exactly one year ago today (check it out: http://janellesafricanadventures.blogspot.com/). A wave of emotions surged through me in the thirty seconds it took me to re-read my own words. Forgive me for the redundancy from my last entry but the fact that I was overseas over a year ago now is still surreal to me. But that's not the point. The point is in spite of all the hardships of this past year, I knew on June 26, 2011 that whatever I was going through and whatever laid before me, God was going to provide and pull me through it. Sometimes He had to drag me kicking and screaming because I hated the idea of change but as I sit here with all the wonderful opportunities before me, I'm glad He did.
Although I still long for the experiences and people I left in South Africa, they have been stored in a special place of my heart. For if there is one lesson I have learned this past week it's the fact that clinging to the past and hopes of what "might be" obscure your vision from the present and what "is" right before you. Don't get me wrong, I still plan on returning there once I'm done with PA school, but I don't know if my life is meant to stay there. The funny thing is if you repeated what I just said to you to the last-week-Janelle she would've been like "What are you nuts?! I'm living there the rest of my life!" And who knows? That may happen but I don't want to limit my options by focusing on solely one thing. Funny how making peace with your past allows you to open your eyes. Much has happened in this past week and I'm glad I opened my eyes when I did because I may have missed an incredible opportunity otherwise.
What have you been holding onto lately? A grudge? An unrealistic desire? Or perhaps you've been holding onto the idea of someone - a broken love, a long-distance fantasy. We've all been there and it's healthy to have dreams and ambitions. But when our heart clings to things/people that our brain knows is unrealistic, we fall into a rut, unable to truly move forward without first making peace with ourselves. Whatever or whoever it may be, I challenge you to reflect on why you've been holding on for so long. What is preventing you from letting go? Anger? Lust? Pain? All of the above? The list goes on but I pray that you find the courage and the strength to allow yourself to "move on." I know that's asking a lot and I'm well aware it won't happen overnight. But bit by bit, day by day you'll be amazed how much you'll discover when you have that long overdue conversation with yourself and make peace with your past. Understand that I'm not asking you to simply forget those struggles. That's near impossible. I am simply encouraging you to store them away into a special place of your heart.
There's only one question left: you hold the key - will you lock it?
Blessings,
Janelle
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
How Did You Get Here?
Much has happened over these past few weeks and I am well aware that it only took two weeks before I fell behind my goal - but rest assured it has been for good reason. Unfortunately, sleep beckons and I have not the time nor the energy to give justice to the many reflections I've had so they shall wait until tomorrow...but before I slumber I will share this:
Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my return to The States. Surreal doesn't even begin to describe how I feel when I realized how quickly this year passed, but it did not fly by without it's trials. I agree with Mother Theresa that "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle...I just wish He didn't trust me so much," and He truly tested my endurance since most days out of the last 365 were overflowing with stress and anxiety. But here I am, a year later and I wouldn't change a thing if I was offered the chance; My mom's misdiagnosis with cancer gave me the chance to tell her I love her more often. Missing 8 days of class to travel with the MU band proved that college is much more than grades on a transcript. Even old heartache provided a new and genuine friendship that has blossomed over the past few months. I could go on and on but I think you get my point. So, I sit here in my own apartment, a place I can finally call my own - working towards an exciting and promising profession at a prestigious university, surrounded by incredible friends and blessed with a supportive family. I can confidently say that I have grown immensely since I set foot back in the USA and am deeply grateful for all that has happened. That's not to say I don't long for the relationships, memories, and experiences I had overseas - I do indeed but they hold a special place in my heart as I continue moving forward though life's journey. I have flown to new heights and the view from this tree is getting better by the day.
It's easy to re-evaluate our life when January 1st rolls around and everyone's raving about their new resolution(s). It's crazy but 2012 is actually almost halfway over - how are those [long-forgotten] resolutions holding up? More importantly (especially if you didn't make a resolution or it fell through the cracks before February rolled around) how are you doing since this time last year? Perhaps June 19, 2011 wasn't as meaningful of a day for you as it was for me but I challenge you to think about how life has been for you for the past 365 days. What kind of challenges have you endured? Which moments took your breath away? How often did you count your blessings? Take time for an adventure? The list goes on and on. Obviously, each of us has taken a unique path to get to where we are now, but whichever winding road you took I hope you would choose it again if given the chance to change it. Because as much as we'd like to erase the painful moments from our memory we can't. Fortunately, it's the tears of pain and sweat of endurance that water our inner seed of humanity, allowing us to grow, live and love. And if we're lucky, our trials will give us the courage to spread our wings and soar to new heights. There are countless branches out there - how did you get to yours?
Blessings,
Janelle
Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my return to The States. Surreal doesn't even begin to describe how I feel when I realized how quickly this year passed, but it did not fly by without it's trials. I agree with Mother Theresa that "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle...I just wish He didn't trust me so much," and He truly tested my endurance since most days out of the last 365 were overflowing with stress and anxiety. But here I am, a year later and I wouldn't change a thing if I was offered the chance; My mom's misdiagnosis with cancer gave me the chance to tell her I love her more often. Missing 8 days of class to travel with the MU band proved that college is much more than grades on a transcript. Even old heartache provided a new and genuine friendship that has blossomed over the past few months. I could go on and on but I think you get my point. So, I sit here in my own apartment, a place I can finally call my own - working towards an exciting and promising profession at a prestigious university, surrounded by incredible friends and blessed with a supportive family. I can confidently say that I have grown immensely since I set foot back in the USA and am deeply grateful for all that has happened. That's not to say I don't long for the relationships, memories, and experiences I had overseas - I do indeed but they hold a special place in my heart as I continue moving forward though life's journey. I have flown to new heights and the view from this tree is getting better by the day.
It's easy to re-evaluate our life when January 1st rolls around and everyone's raving about their new resolution(s). It's crazy but 2012 is actually almost halfway over - how are those [long-forgotten] resolutions holding up? More importantly (especially if you didn't make a resolution or it fell through the cracks before February rolled around) how are you doing since this time last year? Perhaps June 19, 2011 wasn't as meaningful of a day for you as it was for me but I challenge you to think about how life has been for you for the past 365 days. What kind of challenges have you endured? Which moments took your breath away? How often did you count your blessings? Take time for an adventure? The list goes on and on. Obviously, each of us has taken a unique path to get to where we are now, but whichever winding road you took I hope you would choose it again if given the chance to change it. Because as much as we'd like to erase the painful moments from our memory we can't. Fortunately, it's the tears of pain and sweat of endurance that water our inner seed of humanity, allowing us to grow, live and love. And if we're lucky, our trials will give us the courage to spread our wings and soar to new heights. There are countless branches out there - how did you get to yours?
Blessings,
Janelle
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